I visit the zoo.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Hippo 1: Welcome, hooman! We were just finishing dinner.

Hippo 2: We got some Chinese take-out from Charles Bernstein's "Sign Under Test" Restaurant. Care for a fortune cookie?

Visitor: Don't mind if I do.

Hippo 1: Care for a few dozen?

Hippo 2: We've got plenty.


Hippo 1: OK, here's mine: "It's not the absence in the presence but the presence in the absence." What's yours say?

Hippo 2: "The pit of the cherry is like the soul of a self-righteous man: when you find it, you want to spit it out."

Visitor: Mine's "It is equally problematic to shout 'Theater!' at a crowded fire."

Hippo 1: "Don't ask me to be frank. I don't even know if I can be myself."

Hippo 2: Oh, that's good. That's reeeal good.

Visitor: Heh.

Hippo 1: "Simply stated, there's nothing to state."

Hippo 2: Yep.

Visitor: How 'bout this one? "The station wagon stayed stationary at the station."

Hippo 1: Not "The station wagon stayed stationary at the stationery shop?"

Hippo 2: Even better.

Visitor: "The haze doesn't obscure the view it makes it palpable." I kinda like that one.

Hippo 1: Not bad.

Hippo 2: What we need's a little music here.

Hippo 1: I'll play something on the piano.

Hippo 2: How 'bout a little chopsticks?

Visitor: Oh, that's lame.

Hippo 1: Lame? You want lame? "A husband returns home to find a burning cigar in his ashtray. He soon discovers a man in the broom closet. 'What are you doing there?'—'Everybody's got to be somewhere.' [Henny Youngman]"

Hippo 2: Sure. Blame the other guy.

Visitor: No respect.

Hippo 1: That's Rodney Dangerfield.

Hippo 2: Still.

Hippo 1: Oh! The chopsticks are sticking to my chapstick.

Hippo 2: Another Bernstein fortune cookie?

Hippo 1: Nope. The chopsticks are sticking to my chapstick.

Visitor: 'I see,' said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.


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